Does My Cat Know I Love Her?

Does My Cat Know I Love Her?

Everyone knows about dog affection, but what about cat affection? Everyone who’s ever been in the presence of a dog for more than 30 seconds knows how they reciprocate affection, and you’d be pretty hard-pressed to find a dog-owner who stares listlessly out the window wondering to himself, “does Captain Puddles get it? I mean, I know he knows I care for him, but does he like, get it?” Dogs show their appreciation for the love they receive immediately and without restraint. Cat owners, on the other hand, may find themselves in a constant state of “does my cat like me, or does he like-like me?” Visions of John Cusack holding a boombox over his head while blasting Peter Gabriel begin to form, as we desperately search for a way to express our undying endearment.

Does My Cat Know I Love Her?Some people believe cats assume that getting fed every day is synonymous with love. However, this would an egregious misconception. Cats believe you feed them because that’s what you’re supposed to do. You’re not showing love – you’re simply fulfilling your duties as the caretaker you are. And when you think about it, it does make sense. I mean, if you have a child and you feed them, you’re not necessarily showing that you love them, you’re just not being the worst person ever by allowing your offspring to starve to death. (Not that a cat couldn’t fend for itself, mind you.) You might say to me, “excuse the heck out of YOU, but MY precious Kitty Kitty Bang Bang LOVES showing me affection when she’s knows it’s dinner time!” No, my friend.

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According to a recent study, cats will blast the cuteness level up to 100 if they think it will get them an early, or more hearty meal. Cats know they’re cute, and they know that you love when they’re cute, and they use their feline wiles to lure you into forking over some extra yum yums. And, again, as the article states, “food is not affection”.

That being said, not all hope is lost when it comes to making a meaningful connection with your fuzzy lovedumpling. As we know, there are a list of ways that cats show affection, and by reciprocating or simply accepting that affection, we can make good on the expression of fondness. (And no, unfortunately squeezing their little schmoopy faces until you give yourself a nosebleed is not one of them. Cats don’t understand Cuteness Aggression, much to my dismay.)

First and foremost, consider your cat’s body language. Does your fluffy pudding’s little swiffer tail swish around when you’re near? Does she seem relaxed in your presence? Does she present you with her little belly tum tum whenever you look at her? These are all signs of cat affection, and they all make the statement, “hey, you’re a pretty cool dude. I think you’re great and I feel safe when you sit on the couch and Google yourself all day. Here, behold my luxuriously robust midsection. You’re welcome.”

Does My Cat Know I Love Her?When your delicious honeybean makes these gestures, make sure to give her the attention she deserves. Cats pick up on things that many humans often disregard – you know, vibes and whatever. How? Well, if you’d ask me I’d tell you that they are super psychic genius alien babies who can tap into the subconscious universe, but this is A Very Serious Article and I am A Very Serious Author so, maybe we’ll leave that discussion for another report. In any case, if you maintain a good, open, and loving vibe around your cat, they’ll pick up on it. Your cats get you more than you think they do.

Next, take notice of her behavior. Does she run up to you and run between your legs when you first come home? She’s not trying to trip and kill you, though maybe you have come close to actually smashing your face on the kitchen counter because of it. She’s greeting you! Return the favor. Make sure she’s the first to receive attention when you walk through the door. Does she sit her fat tabby tush on your laptop when you’re trying to write an article about cats? She’s saying, “PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND NOT THE OTHER THING YOU ARE CURRENTLY DOING”, and that’s your opportunity to make sure she knows that she’s the center of your universe. Simply checking in with your cats and giving them some attention will ensure that they know how ya feel.

Finally, observe your cat’s habits. Does she snuggle up with you when you go to sleep? Does she seek you out from time to time just to say hello? Whenever your cat approaches you for tenderness, make sure you acknowledge her. All in all, even the most aloof and brooding cat will be able to pick up on your warmth and devotion. Whether they choose to admit it or not, they can sense when a person loves them (and hates them). So always make sure you’re emitting good, kitty-positive vibes, and your cat will be sure to indulge in the lovefest.

Tell us how your cat shows affection in the comments below!






  1. My cat was a barn cat of my neighbors as a kitten when she was at least 6 months give or take a month, I took her home. She took time to get used to her new home, and she’s comfortable now. She’s like 1 and a half now. Maybe 2. She talks all the time and she never rubs up on anyone or head butts or anything. She has on occasion, later on my lap or accepted my hand after smelling it. She does follow me somewhat and she sleeps at the end of my bed in the middle of the night. Why doesn’t she show anymore love? I even give her kitty treats sometimes.

    • Thanks for your comment, Amber! It sounds like your kitty has come a long way. But unfortunately, not all cats are the “cuddly” type. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, she just shows it by being near you instead of on top of you. Coming from a barn cat background could have something to do with it. You can try bribing her with a treat if you catch her bring affectionate. Treats might encourage her to embrace her cuddly side. 🙂

    • carla Norris

      I have four cats and each one knows I love them all different and special ways. Each cat shows me that they do in fact love me very differently. but I love them all

  2. My cat does a lot of these things head butting me, meowing while staring at me, follows me, shows his belly, blinking slowly, kneeding, and hurries to me when I call for him with my usual kissing noise which is always followed by affection. I love my cat to death he’s 5 years old and I’ve had him since he was a kitten. I haven’t been living with my mom so I only come over for an hour or two daily. Before that I lived there and we’d sleep in my room together however then he hardly did any of these things he does now. Do you think he just misses me? Also he seemed to open up more when I was very sad due to trauma and my father leaving and I ended up be gone a lot then too for weeks at a time.

  3. I have 2 cats, Sheba and Ariel, both females. Sheba has been with me since birth and greets me every day at the door when I come home. She loves to lie across my lap when I’m sitting on the sofa watching TV. And she follows me around the house almost all the time. Ariel is older and is a rescue. Her level of affection is off the charts. At night she lies on the bed purring while I do a vigourous rub behind her ear. She’ll lie with me until I fall asleep, then she’ll linger, cuddled up by my side for a couple of hours before going to her room. She comes out to the kitchen and lays at my feet just to be with me. I know my babies love me and they are the best companions I’ve ever had. I am a senior citizen living on my own and they are truly comforting to me. I love them both dearly and I know they love me. I am so blessed.

  4. Why does my cat growl at me sometimes.I feel she hates me when she does that and I give her nothing but love.

  5. My golden tabby Niles is on my lap as I type this – he’s the best cuddler I’ve ever known. He loves curling up on my lap when I’m working, and will actually come find me if I’m elsewhere in the house to let me know he wants to have snuggle time. He’s also very liberal with the Slow Blink and apparently wanders the house looking for me when I’m not home. I adopted him 2.5 years ago and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I love this cat more than almost anything in my life; he’s been one of my greatest blessings.

  6. My little buddy sleeps on top of me, or burrowed into the “valley” of the blanket between my knees, or burrowed into my side.

    When I leave the apartment, he parks himself on the carpet near the door and stays there until I return. At first I thought he was hearing me coming and would run to the door, but no — I’ve had friends over and have stepped out for a few minutes to run to the store or whatever, and they’ve told me that my cat doesn’t move from the door while I’m gone.

    He follows me everywhere, he cannot bear a closed door between us, and when I lay down on the couch he pads up to my chest and starts purring, which is his way of saying he wants affection. Sometimes he “grooms” my hair too lol.

    So take that, people who say dudes can’t be good cat carers! It’s now been more than 2 years since I adopted my cat, and now it seems weird thinking about what life was like before I had him.

    • Ditto with my two 2-year olds, who are sisters and have been with me since they were 9 weeks old (too young, I know, but their previous owner needed to find homes for them early as she was due to give birth herself the next week :-)). They are very different characters but show me tons of affection in their own ways – and with two, there’s always one around who is up for cuddles and play, even if the other one is currently enjoying some “Me-Time”.
      I don’t know if they hang around the hallway waiting for me all day when I go to work (hope not – my home is a cat-haven full of cat trees and cosy corners, and I’d like to think they prefer to look after their personal comfort and don’t spend all day just waiting for Mommy to come home). But they’re always waiting at the door when I get back, no matter what time it is (if I’m early, they’re likely to be yawning and stretching a lot, as I’ll have just woken them from one of their luxurious cat naps), and whilst one stands on her hind legs with one paw on me and tries to stroke me with her other paw and butt me with her head, the other one kitty-blinks from a little distance and then comes in to bunt me hello. The nicest welcome home there ever was.

  7. My kitten has to be touching me when I sleep, if I move she squeaks grumpily and stretches herself over my legs. She also purrs the loudest when around me, even if she’s just sitting next to me. She also loves trying to groom me, even if I end up bleeding from her little nips. If I go to the bathroom, she’ll drop whatever she’s doing, even devouring food, to sit and wait by the door until I come out, before going back to what she was doing.

  8. I found my cat when he was wandering around a garbage in the middle of one night, 3 months ago. Me and my hubby fell in love with him immediately. We give him a home, food, bath him once every two weeks, took him to doctor, pet him as much as he demanded, give him treats, everything. Only one thing we didnt do, we cannot let him go out to the yard since he would ran away for sure if we let him free. Recently, he tried too many times to run away from us, is it because he want to find a mate? We still dont know everything about cats. We feel very miserable, sad and confuse. Why would he want to run away from us? Can you explain to me? THanks.

    • Are you sure he was a stray and didn’t aleady have a home with one of your neighbors? Maybe put up some “found” flyers with his picture and after a while, if no response, I suggest getting him fixed and maybe get him a cat or kitten companion (also fixed asap). Best wishes to you and kitty boy!

    • Maybe one thing could be – you don’t need to bath cats. Ever. Not unless they have digestive problems and have really messed themselves up so badly that they can’t do the clean-up themselves: otherwise they maintain their own cleanliness very thoroughly and very well. It’s tough to teach a cat to be happy to stay indoors once they are used to the outdoor life, but I’m sure it can be done with the level of care and love you’re obviously putting into your relationship with him, it’ll take some time though…

  9. It was December 12th, 2015 (like a marriage I remember the exact date). I was outside and it was cold and wet outside. A cat just started showing up out of nowhere. I didn’t know where he came from, but was worried because he was cold, wet and starving. I made him a bed outside in a plastic tote and fixed a t shirt tightly around the tub to where the neck of the shirt was his door. He stayed there all night. He would be meowing but scared at the same time. Finally I just drug him inside, he scared and reluctant. He cried and cried but I said No! You’re cold and wet and omg you’re warm now. Anything that happened he would run straight under my bed. Tried to find who this kitty belonged to with no luck although he had a collar and after taking him to the vet he was neutered. A few people came by to see if that was their cat…He’d run under my bed. He wanted to be with me. I feel he chose me to save him. Now I hadn’t had a cat since I was 16, I was 37 when he came. He was thoroughly traumatized by whatever happened to him. He’d run under my bed and I would like on the floor with my hand under the bed stroking him telling him everything will be OK. This went on for 5 or 6 months. I had a severely traumatic experience myself so I know how scared he was. Now this beautiful creature lays with me, constantly rolls on the floor belly up and even does this weird jump up behind the couch when I’m coming. He’s trying to scare me, it’s funny. He does this nose thing all over my face and rests his nose on the corner of my eye for a few seconds. But if I’m walking and he thinks I shouldn’t or am not paying attention to him and he whacks my legs over and over again as I’m walking….Sometimes standing on two legs. He’s scared to death of the vacuum and runs under the bed, so I bought a quieter one that involves no electricity :). He doesn’t really like my 12 year old son but after a year is getting used to him although my son can’t pet him. They’re just now starting to become comfortably acquainted. He greets me very loudly. He has learned to not claw the bathroom door jam. All I have to say is no. I don’t know where he came from but like I said he chose me and he chose well because there was no way I’d ever let anyone or anything hurt him ever again.

    Thank you for allowing me to share this.

  10. We are proud owners of 5 rescue cats. One that my wife found under our porch steps , he could not have been more than couple of weeks old as his eyes were barely able to open. She fed him mothers milk from the vet , he thinks she is his mother. We have had him since 2005. We have one that a neighbor abandoned when their house burned and we took it in when he finally decided that we would take good care of him. He is 13 years old. We have a black cat that we call our panther kitty. He is 25 pounds of solid muscle no fat. He is 13 years old. We have one that looks like she has some Siamese in her she is 12 years old and has not grown much since we adopted her she only weighs 6 pounds but eats like crazy. Our other one is 12 years old. We rescued her from the neighbor kids who were teasing and abusing her. We have had two cats pass away in last several years. One was 12 years old when she died of breast cancer that we spent a lot of money getting her treated for she also was diabetic which we were treating her for. We also lost our long haired Maine coon that was 22 1/2 years old when he died. Other than the Maine coon all the others were cats that we got to replace the six cats we lost when our house burned. One of the ones we lost in the fire was the brother of our Maine coon that we lost to old age.

    • Sheri Edwards

      I’m sorry you lost your other kitties. My sincerest condolensces. Sincerely, Sheri Edwards, FL

  11. Ruth Ford

    I’m currently under the paw of two rescued fur babies. I am regularly subjected to sandpaper washes. Cuddles, purrs and I often wake up covered in cat toys.

  12. I’m a dog person. One morning it was flooded, I went to my car and a 6 week old grey tabbie jumped from under and on my foot trying to play with me. I ended up taking her in, she was covered in fleas and had a respiratory infection, eyes red with gunk around. Went to the vet, got that taken care of. Clingiest little kitten I’d ever come across, tripped anytime I got up to walk. Jumped in the tub during a bath, jumped in my lap when I was taking a dump. It was like she couldn’t be left alone for 1 minute. She’s gotten better as she’s gotten old, but still likes to cuddle with me. It’s been 2 years now and I call her my Brendel pit bull. .

  13. Hi, this is my first time writing to a public page, however, it will not stop me to tell the tale of my cat Charcoal. As per her name, she was completely black, except for her tummy, that was white. She was a stray barn cat that belonged to friends of my parents (I’m only 16 years old.) She was the “Scaredy cat” she ran from everyone, hid from anything that moved; except for me, she seemed to only desire attention and affection from me. She would lay on my chest at night, while i slept, and purr so loud, to the point where i’d wake up, only to be greeted by licks and more purring. She was by far one of my favourite cats. Unfortunately, this is where the story turns rather dark, Charcoal, had 2 litters of kittens. The first litter, was a first for everyone, including myself. It was highly anticipated, i was excited, my family was excited, we all saw how big her belly got; we never went and got her an ultrasound, but we knew the litter wouldn’t be unsatisfactory number wise. Then IT happened. The fateful day that my Australian shepherd decided to chase after my poor pregnant Queen. With the Dog hot on her trail, she catastrophically collided with the corner of a wall in her mad dash to my room.(her safe-haven) A week or so passes, and she finally went into labour. The ENTIRE litter was still-borne. I was heart broken, she was heartbroken, it was a very sad time, we both mourned for the next following few days. Within weeks, i had given away my dog, as everytime I looked at him, I thought only of the tragedy he had caused. He was the murderer of my precious cat’s babies; I couldn’t dare to look at him. The second litter, with no dog in the house, was a complete success, she gave birth to 4 kittens, all of which grew to be the cutest and most adorable kittens i’d ever seen. Even the runt of the litter had quite the “glow up.” Needless to say, thanks for giving this a read, and I hope the best to anyone who took the time to read this story.

  14. My kitty was adopted at 3, he’s 4 now, but it’s taken the past 6 months up until now to get him to lay near me and hold him for a period of time. He has always let me pet him, but he’s really come around and is a lot more social now. I think he finally understands that he is loved and safe here.

  15. I love this. The entire article. I love the way you describe cats!! I feel the EXACT same way!! I have a glorious baby myself, which is exactly why I searched “does my cat know how much I love her” on google. I am so so so so so cosmically happy that this website popped up first. LOVE IT!

  16. “Psychic genius alien babies” holy shit favorite line ever


    Ever since we brought our Sox home she lays on the floor and shows us her tummy. We take it as she wants us to pick her up and kiss her and pet her. She loves it when we lift her up and say “all hail meowcifer” . She really does being so much joy to our lives.

  18. Kathy Randall

    Hi, thanks everyone for your insights. I bumped into this article due to a situation I just became accidentally involved in. My daughter rents a flat, one of several, above that of an old woman, the owner of the building, who recently passed away. She left behind two elderly indoor cats whose daily care now consists of being barricaded off in a small section of the house and having someone drop in to feed them once a day. Usually the owner’s daughter does it, but temporarily farmed the chore out to mine since she had going-away plans for the holidays. Now as my daughter wanted to visit out of town over Christmas as well, she asked me to look in on them so I got mentally as well as physically involved. When I lost my house, rather than take my two ten-year-old, home-born, feral-with-anyone-but-us gingers into a cubbyhole with me after they’d spent their whole lives running free, I had them put down. So, in the present case I was just wondering whether this might be some kind of animal purgatory. Should I call the authorities, or what?

  19. Why would you think two elderly indoor cats would be better off dead if they are happy being alive? I find this quite disturbing that someone would think putting them down is an option, to be honest.

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